In the year 1563, a fiery meteor hurled towards the earth. At the same time a lowly beast wondered the forests of the Pacific Northwest. In an instant the meteor collided with the beast with such force, it could be heard from miles around. When the dust finally settled all that remained were shattered trees circling a large smoking crater. In the center of that crater, stood a red bearded baby holding a shotgun.

His name was Yukon.

He was raised by the wild and lived with the mountains. With mass global expansion, civilization began knocking on his door. At first legend spread of a man whose beard was more powerful than the wind and his pants were nonexistent. The people stormed the forests with torches and pitchforks demanding an audience with the man-beast known as Yukon.

Emerging from his cave Yukon addressed the frighten crowd and spoke these words. “People of this world do not be frightened, for I come in peace.” Yukon then lifted a shotgun and brought down each and every person in the crowd but for one. A man, left alive to spread the word of warning to all that enter Yukon’s forest.

Years passed and Yukon remained undisturbed, until one day a nomadic traveler discovered a cave in the forest and once again Yukon emerged. Spouting the same rhetoric of peace and touting the giant shotgun. The traveler acted quickly and with a mighty blow to the chin, the mythic Yukon fell.

The traveler picked up the shotgun, walked out of the woods and hopped a bus and came to Portland grew a red beard, got a radio show on KUFO. And was never heard from again…except for everyday on KUFO.

Taking the moniker of the giant beast that he had slain, he…I became Yukon Cornelius Red.