KUFO - There is a place in HELL reserved for bad tippers

There is a place in HELL reserved for bad tippers

Yes. Truly, there is.

So as most or some or none of you know, in addition to being a rock star by night and tearing up the M.I.C. I also hold down a day job waiting tables for minimum wage so I can pay rent. There will always be a tradeoff for doing what you love.

This is the first "blue collar" job I have ever had in my 25 years. I grew up in the only affluent part of Wyoming, a rich ski town which included Harrison Ford and Sandra Bullock as residents. Or at least property owners. I started working at a hotel when I was 16 as a front desk employee and quickly moved up to a front desk manager. I spent my years in college working for the University as an R.A. (basically a Dorm Mom)and also working for a local radio station. Fell into a job in radio right out of school and now I sit before you typing this blog.

If nothing else, working as a waitress has humbled me beyond belief. The restaurant I serve at is your typical fun, family dinning place where cheesy pictures are hung on the walls and you get a free sundae if it's your birthday. It has an amazing staff and the most flexible hours I have ever heard of. (Some weeks I work 8 hours, some weeks 25 hours and some weeks not at all, depending on what I feel like.) Our clientele is split between your business lunchers, families and teenagers.

A couple months after I started at the restaurant, I was in a section midway up the preverbal totem poll. It was a good section where you could turn tables quickly, but without the opportunities for any large parties. It was a busy night and you know if you're selling $700 in less then three hours, you're white hot.

I had a couple tables who were really great, but the majority of them were average just wanting to get in and out. Which I respect. If you're eating and you don't want me in your face, you got it. One of my middle of the road tables is a late teen/ early twenties couple whom I would have never taken notice of had the following situation not happened. Besides the fact that the underage female ordered a "virgin margarita on the rocks" which *ahem* is just sweet and sour mix, there was nothing unusual about their meal or the service I gave them. When I went to pick up the receipt to bus the table, there is a big fat 0 in the tip line and this is written on the top of the slip....

"I am sorry for the lack of tip, but you lacked in good service! Hopefully, next time will be better Crystal, we are disappointed!!!"
Ok. Elizabeth, is it? Go screw yourself. If you don't want to leave me a tip, don't. If you think I am a terrible server, don't come back to the restaurant. If I actually did anything wrong, please go tell a manager... But don't berate me by leaving some snide note for me at the top of the bill acting like a disappointed parent seeing their child's first "C".

But the Elizabeth situation only prepped me for worse. In the past year, I have been in yelling matches with men twice my size about their bill ("Yes, I did serve your table X amount of drinks... Yes, you do owe me what ever is printed at the bottom of this receipt.") Had a women call me a bitch at the top of her lungs because I wouldn't serve her (she was completely wasted). Chased down two tweens who tried to dine and dash. And most recently, had a man who spent his entire meal yelling at his spouse, proceeded to try and yell at me for twenty minutes post meal about my service. He kept saying that he didn't want to tip me, but he was sure I had bills to pay and normally he was an excellent tipper and so on. He kept trying to give me $2 and I told him I would prefer him not to tip me if he felt like the service was inadequate. I am not sure what he expected to happen (I think he wanted me to cry or something) But as I stayed calm and repeatedly asked if he would like to talk to a manager, he became more and more angry. I was crouched down by the table so I was eye to eye with him and he ended up standing up out of the booth at the end of his tirade. As soon as he stood up, I also stood and had about 3 inches over him once we were upright. As soon as he realized we were standing eye to chin, he wrapped it up, gave me $2 and left.

I feel like there will be a spot in hell reserved for bad tippers, by every server who has to wait on them. On a side note, since I started waiting tables, even the worst service I have ever received has been tipped 20%. That's how bad I feel for other people in this profession.