It’s the blog of trainwrecks tonight. 2 glorious f-ups revered and reviled for their ability to shamble through life leaving a wake of wreckage and carnage but never having the common courtesy of teetering off the side of a cliff or accidentally driving into a car crusher and taking a nap or choosing the space shuttle launch pad at t-minus 20 seconds as a convenient place to shoot up and pass out.

First up, the queen of all f-ups says that the Cobain estate has been robbed of about 200 million dollars by a couple who used Kurt’s social security number to open 188 credit cards and max them out. Along with the credit cards, they also were able to refinance Kurt’s mom’s and his sister’s homes, and not in a way that would reduce their monthly mortgage payments. Both houses are being repossessed.   

Courtney says, "My own house was refinanced four times. I have never done this. I\'ve owned one Toyota and one Prius in my life. There are auto loans on Kurt\'s [Social Security number] for a Mercedes and a Bentley. Someone applied online and got 27 American Express cards and 74 Visas on Kurt\'s Social [Security number]. Everything has been forged. There is a piece of paper with a forged signature where I supposedly declared myself incompetent and they took over everything."

Love says, "I tried to commit suicide and went to rehab. I\'m better now and the FBI in Orange County [Calif.] and Scotland Yard are handling this."

Now, Courtney says she met these people a few years ago, before all this started, probably when she was still tooting rails of Ajax off the bath tub rim, so it’s possible that they got Kurt’s SSN from her. But that’s just speculation.

I personally think that any credit card company that gives credit to someone who is very obviously, very publicly dead, should probably be on the hook for their part of the cash.

Second up, the dutchess of f-ups, Kelly Osbourne. Can’t really give her any higher rank than that because so many ladies have snuck past her in the last few years.

Kelly Osbourne says she was already hooked on narcotics at the age of 16 and claims that at her lowest point, she took 100 pills a day.

“All the voices in my head that were telling me that I was worthless, that I was fat, that I\'ll always just be someone\'s daughter and never make anything for myself…all these things in my head, as soon as I took this pill, just silenced.” Kelly, real quick, I would like to point out that those weren’t voices in your head. Those were the real voices of… everybody. 

The wake up call to get clean was when Sharon had to punch her to stop her from falling into a drug-induced coma. Kelly says, “I remember one night being woken up by my mom punching me in the back so that I started breathing again in bed, and I had pissed myself in my sleep. I\'m sorry, but at 20 years old, to wake up by your mother trying to resuscitate you in a bed of your own piss, that is mortifying.” And that’s why the drinking age is 21, because getting punched awake by your psychotic, harpy mother after loosing control of your bladder is totally cool then.