Three reasons why Rivers Cuomo of Weezer may have lost it. Reason 1: He was already about 98% there. Any man who chooses abstinence and four years in Harvard for a Lit major AFTER they’re already a rock star may not be someone you want to help load a couch into a van. 2: Rivers is sporting a ‘stache of almost Magnum-esque proportions. It’s more like the mustache is growing a jaunty little Rivers Cuomo list to see how it looks. And 3: One of the best pop music writers of the last two decades has decided to write a song by committee. He’s asked fans, through the powers of YouTube, to help him write a song. 

Yesterday I told you how Dr. Pepper announced they would give everyone in America a Dr. Pepper, with the exception of Slash and Buckethead, if GNR’s “Chinese Democracy” was released this year. The whole thing stank of a music industry/soda industry cross promotion with Dr. Pepper’s PR guys spouting crap like, “We know once it’s released, people will refer to it as ‘Dr Pepper for the ears’ because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds - an instant classic.”

Well, to my mind, Axl has done nothing to assuage m fears of a vast soda/music conspiracy with the statement posted on the GNR website. He wrote:

We are surprised and very happy to have the support of Dr Pepper with our album “Chinese Democracy,” as for us, this came totally out of the blue. If there is any involvement with this promotion by our record company or others, we are unaware of such at this time. And as some of Buckethead’s performances are on our album, I’ll share my Dr Pepper with him.

Axl Rose

This is Axl Rose. He once dove into a mosh pit to sock a fan that was looking at him funny. Axl, of course he was looking at you funny. You were wearing biker shorts and aviator glasses. We were all looking you funny. So, if Axl wasn’t already in cahoots with Dr. Pepper, he should have been drunkenly throwing a fichus at the Dr. Pepper receptionist first thing this morning.