The old saying goes “the rich get richer while the poor stay poor.” There’s an alternate version that states the “poor get poorer,” but for as rich as the rich are these days for that math to work, 50 percent of our population should be beyond destitute and right on to homeless. So for our purposes we’ll stick with “poor stay poor.” But this economic dichotomy works as an analog for public relations announcements as well. You want to make a big announcement you do it with someone who will guarantee you get national press for it, someone who is rich with attention, while the little guy starves to death covering your announcement as third hand news. For instance, Scott Weiland could have announced that Stone Temple Pilots were getting back together here on our show, but chose instead to go hang out with A-Rod and announce it at some crappy charity function. Scott, you don’t make rock announcements with A-Rod. You announce you injected pureed elephant hypothalamus into your ass and had gay sex with Derek Jeter with A-Rod. You tell the world that STP is reuniting on a Star Wars-obsessed night radio show in Podunk Portland. That’s what you should have done. But no. You chose the Ritz Carlton in South Beach, Florida with A-Rod’s diamond encrusted hand on your ass to tell fans to expect a STP reunion in the next few months. Thanks… Jerk.

One more reason to pity Albanians: their culture has only just now reached 1991. I don’t know if it’s a daylight savings thing or a time zone issue or maybe time travels slower when it’s being transported in the trunk of a burnt out Datsun B210 being pulled by a donkey wearing a foam sombrero, but for whatever reason Albanians are still rocking acid washed jackets and OP shorts like George Sr. was still in office. Clearly that’s the case because why else would their appreciation of music end in 1991? Albania's Top Gold Radio asked people what their favorite songs were over at their website, a chalkboard near the nation’s number one attraction, a cigarette smoking monkey that masturbates and then sniffs his hand. The station created their top 100 Golden Hits based on listener voting and Metallica’s "Nothing Else Matters" was number 1 followed the Scorpions' "Wind of Change" and GNR’s "Don't Cry." Other rock songs from the top ten include Deep Purple’s "Soldier of Fortune", Zeppelin’s "Stairway to Heaven" and The Eagles’ "Hotel California".

Just wait until their hear Nirvana and Beck and Rage and Muse.