OK, so the record industry is crying like a bunch of twelve year old girls who just had their first period… in white pants at school while practicing the splits in front of Dirk Chestington, captain of the football team. And much like the hypothetical menstruating pre-teen, the record industry is face down in their pillow right now with their favorite legally purchased Dashboard Confessional songs playing on the CD player crying and screaming, “It’s not fair!” over and over again. Their beef is that we’re robbing them blind with pirated music. Our counter is that they’ve been robbing us blind for years with record prices, so suck it.   

Many potential solutions have been submitted over the years and none seem to be acceptable. OK, really there have only been two solution. We have offered that they go on letting us download for free and they have countered with, “How about you go back to playing 18 dollars per CD?”

Well, Trent Reznor is in favor of some middle ground, middle ground that will end up costing you about 60 bucks a year. Trent says he might favor the idea of a tax added to monthly Internet Service Provider fees. Reznor explained, "I think if there was an ISP tax of some sort, we can say to the consumer, 'All music is now available and able to be downloaded and put in your car and put in your iPod and put up your ass if you want and it's $5 on your cable bill.'"

Which is great, unless you’re someone who doesn’t download anything off the internet, in which case you’re just being bent over. Then, of course, this allows the movie industry to do the same thing and ask for another five bucks to be plopped on top. Then the TV industry wants their five, then the porn industry wants their 20.

On Friday I told you how Slipknot and Disturbed were signed up for the Rockstar Mayhem Tour this summer after both bands release new material in the spring. This is pretty much confirmed. Billboard.com ran with the story and they’re pretty reliable. Better yet, Bozyk reported it in his Rock Report, which is better than carved in stone… it’s like lasered onto the moon from Bozyk’s own steely gaze and set on fire by a Bozyk double-guns followed with a “Tchek, tchek.” It’s so confirmed it’s practically history.

Well Slipknot, in brash defiance of Bozyk’s will, are saying, “Uhm, maybe not.”

SLIPKNOT has issued the following statement:

"Don't believe everything you read. We're not ready to confirm or deny anything regarding touring and recording, but when we are ready you will be the first to hear it directly from us."

A few weeks ago I told you in Jock Itch how World Doping Agency Chairman Dick Pound was stepping down from his post with no announcement of where Dick Pound planned on stamping out the blight of performance enhancing drugs next with his massive Dick-y Pound-y foot of fury. Well, I don’t want to spoil the press conference he has planned for tomorrow, but I’m guessing you’ll find Dick Pound standing at the entrance of the Staples Center with a plastic cup collecting samples from the Grammy nominees on February 10^th. That’s because the latest trend (for whatever reason) seems to be musicians and rappers getting all beefed up on the roids.

Apparently Grammy-winning singer Mary J. Blige is being accused of purchasing performance enhancing drugs, as is 50 Cent, Timbaland, Wyclef Jean and actor Tyler Perry. Allegedly they each used fake names to receive prescriptions signed by Dr. Gary Brandwein of Florida. Brandwein, an osteopath, was named last year as the doctor who prescribed steroids to Chris Benoit, the pro wrestler who killed his wife, son and himself.