You all should be ashamed of yourselves! How dare you besmirch the good name of Axl Rose?! Haters, I think is what the musical luminary, lyrical genius and trailblazer in the field of baseball cap placement, Fredrick Bartholomew Durst would call people like you. If you could even call what you are “people.” Pfft. All you do is sit in your ivory tower unspooling hot turd into your hands so that it may be thrown at American heroes like Axl Rose.

For years people have said that he’s crazy, that he’s an egomaniac, that he’s wasted 13 million dollars and over 15 years making a sub-par album that will never be released, and even if it was it would be met with all the enthusiasm of a cauliflower fart in a crowded car whose windows don’t roll down. Well I say, yes, he’s all of that. But he’s a hero too. And I have proof. Remember those fires in Malibu last year? Apparently Axl was in that blaze fighting it like it was an adoring fan that looked at him for a split second too long. Nay, he fought that fire like its name was Slash.

Go to the clip!

I was worried about Francis Bean there for a while. Out of all the people on this planet, it would seem that she would be especially prone to the isms: alcoholism, drug-ism, insane-ism, whore-ism, remodel-your-skull-with-a-12-guage-ism. You know, all the stuff they warn your kids about in elementary school these days. And when I heard that she was posing for a shoot for Harper’s Bazaar magazine, I was worried that this would begin her lust for the lime-light (unless she got her father’s genes in which this would begin her revulsion of the lime light and subsequent withdrawal from reality and ultimately end in that whole skull-remodel-ism we talked about.) I was hoping that the example set by her parents would shove her in the opposite direction, something away from fame and fortune and more towards behind-the-scenes and relative obscurity. And it looks like that may be which way she’s going. In the interview she says she may want to get in to photography or journalism as a career. As far as obsessive Nirvana and Hole fans go, she says, “These people are fascinated by me, but I haven’t done anything.  If you’re a big Nirvana fan, a big Hole fan, then I understand why would want to get to know me, but I’m not my parents. People need to wait until I’ve done something valid with my life.” 

And finally, the writer’s strike is nearly over, but hopefully there will still be enough lag-time in the creation of new shows that we can get this gem on the air. NBC, realizing that there is a dearth of reality shows about drunken Canadian ice games played by rock stars, is getting ready to roll out Rockstar Curling. Now, my BS alarm is going off suggesting that some blogger made this crap up, but even the Toronto Star is reporting this story so there may be something to it. Apparently NBC confirmed that it has an exclusive option to air a 10-episode sports reality show that will give the winners a shot at competing in the U.S. championships and even going to the 2010 Olympics. Among the rockstars planned to appear include rock heavyweights Bruce Springsteen and Jon Bon Jovi, both of which are apparently huge curling fans.